"I can't" vs "I don't want to"

An open water scuba instructor's job is half teaching and half psychology. An important part of the job is coaching student divers to overcome their fears, develop confidence and be the best divers that they can be. Students who have difficulties usually use one of two phrases to express their frustrations - "I can't do this" or "I don't want to do this." Although these statements may sound similar, there is a huge difference between "I can't" and "I don't want to."

I deal with "I can't" frequently, as in "I can't clear my mask" or "I can't take my regulator out."  "I can't" usually indicates fear or a lack of self-confidence. This situation requires some coaching, maybe breaking the skill into smaller steps or taking a break and coming back to it. My response to the "I can't" comment is "Just be patient with yourself and take your time. This skill is not easy for everyone, and it is common to have problems with it at first."

If as a student, you have difficulty accomplishing a skill but you still want to dive, cut yourself some slack. No one expects a student to be perfect right away (if you were, why would you need to take a class in the first place?) Becoming a comfortable and confident diver takes more time for some students than others.

"I don't want to" is a different situation. If a student says "I don't want to do this" I immediately stop the exercise or cancel the dive. A student will not be able to master a skill if he doesn't want to learn it. Diving is a recreational sport. It should be fun! It is not my job as an instructor to talk someone into doing something that he doesn't have any desire to do.

As a student, if you catch yourself thinking "I don't want to do this" then don't do it. You do not have to dive. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that you are uncomfortable with. Diving is a sport that must be done for you, not for a parent, child, wife or husband.

Many divers have overcome fears and difficulties to experience the incredible underwater world. Diving is a beautiful, relaxing sport, but it must be done because the diver wants to dive, and not for any other reason. Instructors, listen to your students. Students, listen to yourselves. There is a huge difference between "I can't " and "I don't want to."

Speak Up! What are your thoughts on "I can't" vs "I don't want to".

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